


Autonomic Booty Call 3

by meadows



Series: Autonomic [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space Opera, Bulges and Nooks, Cybernetics, Dirty Talk, Enthusiastic Consent, F/F, Flushed Romance, Internal Pailing, Interspecies Sex, Mechanical Prosthesis, Nookworms, Oral Sex, Questionable Biotechnology, Sex Toys, Tentabulges, Vacation, Xeno, Xenophilia, with a hint of Pale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-09-17 21:24:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9346448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meadows/pseuds/meadows
Summary: The sequel to the sequel that no one asked for, but everyone needed. Chief Petty Officer Roxy Lalonde and Helmsman Aradia Megido are back again for one last interstellar romp. Expect nothing less than the sexiest results yet—courtesy of a binding, legislacerator-enforced contract.





	1. Glow

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Autonomic Booty Call](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1126996) by [jadebloods](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jadebloods/pseuds/jadebloods). 



> So I've chosen to turn this saga into a little something that we in the business like to call "PWP" (Plot with porn).  
>  **I strongly recommend you read the[first](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1126996) and [second](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3503348) parts because this is a direct continuation that won't make any sense unless you do.  
> **  
> [You can listen to this](https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/spaceshipNoiseGenerator.php?c=0&l=5866423221212726263600) if you want some good spaceship atmosphere while you read, I had it on pretty much the entire time I was writing.
> 
> If you're allergic to worldbuilding, just skip to [Chapter 2](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9346448/chapters/21511559).
> 
> As always, I give innumerable thanks to my friends who helped hammer this clumsy blob of words into something worthwhile: [Talkinghands](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Talkinghands), [Twilit](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilit), [Aewin](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Aewin), and [PlayTheRain](http://archiveofourown.org/users/PlayTheRain).

The ship's alarm blares with a threatening urgency, it makes your ears ring and you wish you could ignore it. Your frantic dash down the hallway is interrupted as the artificial gravity cuts out for a moment and you're left awkwardly floating forward in the air for several meters until it finally kicks back on. Thankfully, you manage not to land flat on your face when it does. Slamming your hand against the control panel on the wall, the door hisses open and jams halfway. You slip in through the gap, tugging your toolbag through when it gets stuck.

The room is a mess, warning lights are flashing everywhere, smoke is billowing out of a transformer cluster, and you wish you had time to take better stock of the situation but your top priority lies at the center of the room. You rush over and immediately curse the low visibility in here. Some of the goo from the tank has sloshed over the side, so now the floor is a fucking slip’n’slide and you're falling, slamming into the side of the tank but managing to grab onto the edge and hoist yourself up.

You're met with a sight you knew would probably be waiting but still hoped you wouldn't have to see. Aradia's features are contorted in pain, her chest heaving as she forces ragged breath after breath. Another explosion reverberates through the hull and she lets out an anguished scream as sparks rain down all around you.

You reach over and brush some of the hair out of her face, and she looks up at you with eyes wide and full of terror.

"Hey there," you say in your most reassuring voice even though you too are so far beyond terrified right now it shouldn’t be possible to be reassuring. "Still with me?"

"It feels... like I'm being ripped to pieces inside," she pauses and grits her teeth. "Not exactly the worst I've had, but I would call it a close second."

You're more concerned about her than anything else, but you try to keep your wits about you and first see what you can do to stave off a critical failure for the helm system. You don't have time to work out whether the other fluid that’s darkening the color of the tub is Aradia’s blood or something from one of the many intertwined cables. You fumble for your PDA and jam the connector cable into the helm terminal’s main port. As the diagnostic runs, the shitty little device tells you what you expected and that pretty much everything is royally screwed. Your frown deepens more as each system level check comes back and flips red.

"Fuck!" you hiss, spiking the PDA onto the floor and cracking the screen.

Aradia reaches up and shakily rests a hand on your forearm. The look she gives you tells you more than any data readout would.

"How much longer we got?" you ask quietly.

"The shield generator isn't completely down y—oh." she says, eyes unfocused as she gazes into the digital framework of the ship’s systems. "Nevermind, there it goes."

Almost on cue, the explosions grow louder and the shaking more violent. Aradia shivers, wrapping her arms around herself and clutching at her sides, like she’s trying to keep herself from falling apart. It’s hard to believe Aradia’s still as calm as she is while also feeling the massive strain of various systems around the ship starting to fail. Knowing what you do about the workings of her custom helm rig now, every inch of her nervous system is getting completely torched by the biofeedback. You mouth another silent curse for the asshole who built it.

She coughs and a small bit of blood runs down from the corner of her mouth, "I'm sorry, Roxy. I—"

"Shhh. Hey, no." you whisper back, reaching up to thumb away the blood and cup her cheek, "They got the drop on us. Not your fault."

She nods and then tenses up again, a groan rising from her throat and turning into a scream. This is fucking you up. No, this IS fucked up. You're both going to die and you can't stand how much it hurts to watch her like this.

You frown and decide now isn't the right time to worry about repercussions for being selfish. _Fuck it_. You reach over to the helm’s control pad and hammer in the admin override code, switching the ship's systems to the auxiliary power reserves. The transformers hum more quietly as the flow shifts from Aradia’s lines to the backup. You lean over and reach behind her, quickly disengaging all of the connections and unplugging them one by one. Her breathing stabilizes and she looks up at you, confused. Before she can speak, you slide your arms under her and hoist her up out of the tank. She's lighter than you expected, but you're not too surprised given she doesn't get much exercise.

You settle down back onto the floor, leaning up against the side and bringing her to rest on your lap. You hold her tightly and run your fingers through her hair.

"Tell me what it was like," you say, swallowing the knot in your throat and trying to suppress the tremor in your voice, "When you died, I mean."

"You mean what it felt like?" she says, snuggling up against you and leaning her head on your shoulder.

"I dunno. Just... anything." You breathe along with her and try to just focus on the sound of her voice to tune out the hellacious noises assaulting you from all sides. It works, surprisingly well.

"I wasn't dead for very long but... I remember feeling cold at first. So cold I wanted to shiver, but I couldn't, because nothing worked anymore. It was dark too, and I knew I was alone. But then it felt like a warm breeze suddenly kicked up and wrapped itself around me. It was calming, like waking up from a nice nap."

"Was that when you got brought back?"

"No, that part was much worse. Terrible, really."

"Oh..."

You can't think of anything to say for a moment. More explosions, closer now.

"I'm so sorry about this. I wish I could've done more."

She shakes her head and nuzzles your neck, "I know you're worried, but dying really isn't so bad."

"Says the one who's already had practice."

"I think it will be better this time around."

"Because of the whole been-there-done-that thing, huh?"

"Because," she says warmly, placing a hand on your cheek and turning your head toward her, "You're here with me."

She leans in and kisses you. It still feels incredible, just like your first. Time grinds to a halt and you're frozen in this moment. You don't notice the ringing in your ears getting louder, the heat growing against your skin. You shut your eyes tightly, a tear rolls down your cheek, and everything goes white.

* * *

You awaken. Clawing, flailing, struggling against the sheets as you sit bolt upright, drawing in air in one long gasp. Your skin is wet with perspiration and your gaze slowly sweeps across the clean, posh surroundings of the hotel room. Pressing a hand against your forehead as your breathing evens out a bit, you rake your fingers back through your hair and stare out the window to the balcony and the simulated oceanfront below. An artificially scented breeze floats through the curtains, stirring them in a convincing impression of cool night air.

After a moment, you turn back and look at the form laying beside you in bed. Aradia is still there, sleeping peacefully, oblivious to your harsh awakening. You reach over to brush some hair out of her face—a sight you're not sure you'll ever grow tired of.

The haze of that awful dream starts to lift from your mind, but now all you're left with are the worries that gave rise to it. 

So much for getting any sleep tonight. 

* * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

_One week earlier..._

"Wait, what?" Aradia says, mildly confused as she looks up at you from her tank.

"Full shore leave," you reply casually, rubbing your fingernails against your jumpsuit and then giving the dusted digits a look of appraisal.

Earlier that day, the captain had sent out a ship-wide bulletin that you were officially on standby and would be docking at Calliope Station at zero-three-hundred, whereupon you were on shore leave until further orders said otherwise.

"WHAT!?" she says louder, eyes wide, leaning towards you over the edge of the tank.

"Full. Shore. Leave." You intone, voice rising to match hers. You break into a grin as well and can't really play this off any longer.

"Roxy! How!? They never let me go that long? You're amazing!"

She lunges at you, rising up to wrap her arms around your waist and bury her face in your side as she gives you a joyful shake. You're not worried about the errant goo-marks on your suit anymore—it's pretty much routine at this point.

"Yeah, no biggie. I just happened to be strolling through and asked the captain about it, and the captain was all like 'That's excellent, my dude. Make it so'. I'm kind of a big deal, ya know?"

"I am certain that is exactly how the conversation went and I am very impressed. But seriously, what did you do?"

When the captain had announced you'd be docking at the biggest hub station in the system until your next orders came through, you were struck by a glee-driven fit of brilliance. So you seized the opportunity to ask about getting your favorite girl a chance stretch her legs along with the rest of the crew. What you weren't prepared for was just how well-received your request was.

"So the captain said everything's been running in like, top form ever since I got assigned as your tech. Couldn’t figure out what kind of insane technomajyycks I was working to get your system benchmarks higher than they've ever been, but the cap looked me dead in the eye and, shit you not, told me that I’m not to stop under any circumstance." You shoot a knowing look at her with the subtlest of eyebrow waggles.

Aradia's jaw hangs slack for a moment before she dissolves into a fit of laughter, falling back into the tub with a wet plop and kicking her feet at the absurdity of the realization that the two of you are now technically under official orders to keep boning each other.

"Any circumstance huh?" she drawls after catching her breath and wiping at the corner of one eye.

"I'm afraid so. I don't make the rules around here, so I guess you're just gonna have to get used to it," you say with a bemused shrug. "But it was p.much a cakewalk after that, so I gave my ultra-professional opinion that it’d be better if I kept you close by for monitoring during leave. It’s part of the whole Roxy Lalonde Service Excellence Guarantee™. Ship’ll be hooked up to station power in the dock anyway, so it’s not like they really need you here."

"You said that? All of it? With a straight face? Don’t ever let me play poker with you," she says while trying to stifle another laugh. "The captain's right though, you are a bit of a miracle worker."

"Oh daaaang, I am getting all hells of flattered right now! You’re trying to butter me up like a fresh slice of grubtoast in the morning, aren't ya?"

"Maybe," Aradia gives you a playful wink,  "Also, butter is still not a thing that goes on grubtoast. Or even exists back home at all."

 "Whatevvvs, girl! We can nitpick colloquialisms later, 'kay? We hit dock in less than an hour so I’ve gotta start prepping you to go topside."

 

* * *

 

==>[[S] Vacation!](https://soundcloud.com/attommusicofficial/attom-glow)

Calliope Station hasn't been one of the most frequent resupply stops on your tours of duty, but it's always a guaranteed crowd-pleaser. Being a newer station, it's considerably more elegant than its utilitarian, barebones predecessors dotted throughout the solar system. Two counter-rotating rings anchored to a central pillar, all of which are spun up to produce constant and consistent gravity. The station also enjoys a comfortable place far enough out here that it sits in the galactic equivalent of international waters, making it an idyllic hub for trade and, well, a whole assortment of other shenanigans. You like to think of it as ‘Vegas 2.0 in space’ because—true to the spirit of its earthbound ancestor—it has just about all the typical non-essentials anyone could possibly want to indulge in, only with much greater variety thanks to aliens.

Which is exactly what makes it the best place to post up for a week or two and blow off some steam, and it has the entire crew was buzzing with anticipation as the UEF Cascade pulls into one of the larger berths reserved for military ships of its kind. It’s a prime setup which you’re fairly certain came about from a below-the-table palm greasejob—The Fleet wouldn't want to be seen overtly endorsing the place by taking out a contract. Before you arrive, the captain gives the usual admonishing speech about behaving responsibly, setting a good example, yadda yadda, which nobody will actually remember once their feet hit the dock.

All sense of decorum vanishes as the airlock cycles and the crew begins spilling out into the causeway, breaking into hearty cheers and back-slappings as they boisterously discuss their plans of what debauchery they'll be enjoying first.

You and Aradia are the last ones to disembark, slowly trailing in the wake of rowdiness as you push her along in what, for all its advanced bells and whistles, is still pretty much just a wheelchair. Spending so much time in the helm does take its toll, after all.

"I haven't been out in so long," she says as she continues to try smoothing some of the wrinkles out of the spare jumpsuit you’d helped her into. There wasn't time to find anything better that fit her since you'd spent the better part of an hour disconnecting her from the helm, carefully capping her ports, and inspecting her other implants for corrosion and junk. "You said you've been here before, right?"

"Yup! A few times before I got transferred. I know enough about the place to show you all the cool stuff. Think you're ready for the tour?"

"I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere by myself for a while," she says, patting the chair’s armrests. "Looks like you’ll have to lead this expedition."

"With pleasure. Up on level six they've got this really sweet hydroponic garden…" You launch into listing off the all the attractions you had in mind. As you draw closer to the main part of the dock, a group of eight people in crisp UEF uniforms come striding down the causeway. A lack of any visible rank insignias and something about the way they move—the veiled intensity of trained precision—immediately sets you on edge. Without realizing it, you stop and turn to watch them pass, and catch sight of the captain standing at the airlock, mouthing a greeting and saluting them as they came to a halt.

_New crew? Guess they’re here to fill the bunks left after the old helmstech trolls pulled their dumbass stunt and got spaced._

"Roxy?" Aradia says searchingly, tilting her head back to peer up at you, "Why did you stop?"

"Huh? Yeah, I just—"  you cut yourself off, shaking your head and trying to hop back on the train of thought you were riding, "Where was I? Right! Gardens! Some wicked-pretty plants in there and idk if you're into botany at all, but the space wizardry they had to pull to grow those puppies correctly is pretty wild. For instance..."

It doesn't take you long to clear the docks and enter the expanse of the central pillar, where the floor bends up into walls and arches above to become the ceiling before curving back around. Switching from the ship’s artificial gravity to the station’s spin-gravity is only a little disorienting at first. You adjust as you make your way through the station, trying to choose the most efficient route that’ll take you past all the places you think Aradia might like and will also conveniently distract her from being temporarily wheelchair-bound until her strength returns.

You chat away, eagerly sharing stories and anecdotes as you go. Over here's your favorite greasy spoon that makes the most incredible fried noodles you've had outside the gravity well, and right there's the casino where you saw two highbloods get into a brawl over some quadrant feud and it turned so ugly they got carted off by security. Aradia nods, but her head sinks lower and her replies become shorter and more subdued as you continue on. You wonder if maybe you're boring her and she was only humoring you by indulging this sightseeing trip.

"Hey," you say, resting your hands on her shoulders and giving her a gentle shake, "You alright there?"

"Wuh?" she blurts, jolting at the contact and snapping her head back up, "Oh, sorry. I'm just... I'm really struggling to stay awake. It's not you, I promise."

She reaches up and covers one of your hands with hers, a gesture of sincerity.

"I feel that. Gotta recharge the ol' Megido reactor since you’re giving most of it to the ship." You rest a hand atop her head and lightly muss her hair. You're surprised by its volume and how fluffy it is when it isn't matted down with a bunch of synthetic bioslime. This is the type of hair that eats brushes. "How about I get us to the hotel and so you can settle in?"

"Sounds..." she murmurs, pausing to raise her free hand to mask a yawn, "lovely."

A short lift-tube ride later, you're standing in the lobby of one of the finest establishments on the entire station. Clean, polished, vaguely regal, and you're pretty sure that's actual marble they used. Like god daaaaaaamn, who did they have to bribe to get past the weight restriction zoning ordinances for that shit? You'd been looking for a good excuse to bunk at this place and spring for a choice room, and given that this was your first outing with your alien galpal there wasn't a whole lot stopping you from making a reservation and burning a paycheck...or two.

You wave your hand-terminal over the reader on the door and it slides open, revealing what is undeniably the swankiest hotel room you've ever seen. _‘Executive king suite’ my fine ass, this shit is like straight out of one of those old secret agent movies_. High ceilings, spacious as hell, _real_ wooden chairs, a gigantic bed, a recessed sitting pit with a circular couch built into the floor, and a balcony looking out onto a holographic beach. Luxury, times ten.

You give a low whistle as you step inside and Aradia leans forward, gaping at the sight.

"We're staying _here_?" she asks, as though it were an illusion she expected to fade at any moment.

"Yup!"

"The whole time?"

"I mean, if you're good with that? Sorry for not asking, I just thought I’d...surprise you?"

She turns to look back at you, her excitement and disbelief briefly winning out over fatigue and telling you that she's probably never spent any length of time in a room this decadent, on-world or off.

"Come on," you start, before she can say what you're already thinking and you end up stuck on another depressing tangent about Alternian social hierarchy, "I’m gonna need you to test out this bed here and tell me if it's up to regulation standards."

She lets out an airy chuckle, "An interesting choice, considering I have never slept on one of these in all twelve sweeps of being alive."

"Well, duh, that's why you're the best choice." You tap the controls on the side of the chair to lock it in place after maneuvering it next to the bed, then pull her arm around your neck and reach under her knees to scoop her up, "You don't have a lifetime of bias when it comes to the things like I do."

She hums lightly in agreement as you lower her onto the bed, shooting you a warm look while a smile crosses her lips, "Your loyal Helmslady dutifully accepts this task with the highest honor then, Chief Roxy."

"That's the spirit," you say, leaning in to plant a gentle kiss on her cheek before pulling away, her hand caressing your cheek then dropping to her side as you stand up. "Want some water? I'm kinda thirsty since I was yammering away but..."

She nods slowly, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes as she settles further into the comfort of the plush bed. You waltz into the bathroom, eyeing up the spa-sized bath before grabbing a couple of glass tumblers from the counter and filling them from the tap—a testament to the design of the place that they’re even willing to risk free-floating liquids here. Probably got some souped-up nanofilters for that in the air recycling system. You head back to the main room before your inner geek completely takes over and has you climbing up the counter to get a better look at that intake vent on the wall.

"Hey so check this out, no pre-sealed drink contai—"

You stop, greeted by Aradia's slumbering form, one arm laid across her stomach, buoyed by the rise and fall from tranquil breaths of a deep and dreamless slumber.

"Dang," you whisper to no one, setting one glass down on the nightstand, "Got ourselves a Sleeping Beauty here. The results are in and folks... that bed is effin lethal."

After taking a few moments to ponder and flicking your terminal on to check the time, you drain your glass in a couple of gulps and slink back towards the door. You decide that now's not a bad opportunity for you to make the rounds, hit up a few classic haunts, and go on an old-fashioned Lalonde shopping spree.

 

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like to know why there have been two references to the Alternian helmstechs that Roxy replaced without further exposition, that content got passed over for being too much of a side tangent. 
> 
> The original story alludes to Equius dying in some kind of mutiny. For this to fit the setting later, I decided that he and the other troll helmstechs onboard were there as part of an Alternian mandate for any Earth ship allowed to use their fancyass, helmsman-based warp technology. They were basically there to make sure the pink monkeys don’t fuck anything up and accidentally disappear the ship by misusing tech they don’t fully grasp the nuances of yet. 
> 
> But one day, thanks to some serious ego-driven issues with the military chain of command (lol highbloods amirite?), a disagreement over the navigation plans for a mission wound up escalating way too quickly, so the only five trolls on the ship (minus Aradia) decided to stage a small mutiny and override the captain’s orders because they TOTALLY knew better. 
> 
> This of course led to them promptly being rounded up and thrown out an airlock for being insubordinate assholes.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, since it was only mentioned once in Part 2, **"UEF" stands for "United Earth Fleet"** ; the name for their space-Navy.


	2. Angels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **The Author (to characters)** : This is the part where you fuck.  
> " _Chapter 2: The Part Where They Fuck_ "
> 
> Old reference is old, I don't care. Go read the thing already.
> 
> Thank you to my lovely beta-readers who tackled this chapter: [epyon_avenger](http://archiveofourown.org/users/epyon_avenger), [JadeEmpath](http://jade-empath.tumblr.com), [twofoldAxiom](http://archiveofourown.org/users/twofoldAxiom), [Laeras](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Laeras), and [airl0ck](http://airl0ck.tumblr.com).

You begin your outing with a leisurely stroll through the station to soak up the sights and sounds, watching people come and go. Can’t spend too much time dallying, though—you're a woman on a mission after all. Gotta do everything you can to make this little staycation is as nice as possible for the both of you. Since you're closest to the central district, you hit up the shops there for some of the basics first. A couple decent outfits for Aradia, one for yourself so you don’t have to keep shuffling around in cargo pants and a tanktop, some snacks and other essentials for the room, and new shoes because why the heck not. Before long, you're carrying a fair assortment of bags and you’ve put whatever else you couldn't easily carry on layaway to be couriered to the room.

Your final stop takes you to the far corner of the station that is nowhere near the main attractions; definitely not the kind of place you would end up in unless you were there on purpose. After snaking through several empty corridors and double-checking the floor plan on your hand terminal, you arrive in front of a nondescript door. There's a simple touchpad and a placard that reads "1025."

Praying this isn't one of those intercom setups where you'll be standing out here awkwardly explaining why you've come, you swallow the lump in your throat and reach up to tap the pad. The seconds drift by and then the door hisses open without additional fanfare.

You take a step inside, and find yourself in the middle of the most densely packed sex shop you’ve ever seen. Eyeballing the room, it can’t be that much larger than the one you bunk in back on the ship. There are a few rows of shelves with barely enough space for one person to fit between, every inch of the walls are covered in colorful toys and other items of curiosity. You carefully move past a display of lube bottles that could bury you alive if you bumped into it and knocked it over.

At the far side of the room, there’s a glass display counter and behind it sits a female troll, leaning back in a chair and casually leafing through a book that—based on the saucy cover art—appears to be an Alternian romance novel. She's got long hair, several piercings, and these rad black tattoos that snake down her arms and curl across her chest. You're not sure how old she is, but she's really attractive and has a vaguely maternal vibe about her.

"Welcome," she says, peering up at you over the edge of her book for a couple seconds before going back to reading.

"Sup," you reply, lifting a hand in acknowledgment and trying to play it as cool as possible. You're really glad that you're the only customer here right now.

"Let me know if you need assistance," she rattles the line off with the practiced indifference of a retail worker. Some things never change.

"Kay, thanks," you say, slipping your hands into your pockets and turning your attention to the merchandise.

==>[[S] Roxy: peruse the wares](https://homestuck.bandcamp.com/track/elevatorstuck)

You scan the walls and shelves, looking for something good or at least eye-catching. Everything on display seems pretty generic and vanilla though, even the items you don't completely recognize or understand the intended use of. Eventually, you circle around to the counter so you can peer into the display case. It's divided into three sections, each of which is filled almost to the brim with plump, colorful, textured oblongs that seem to be... wriggling? You lean over to get a closer look and yep, those are definitely alive.

The woman notices you staring and chimes in, anticipating your question:  
"Nookworms. The ones in the middle are vat-grown, and those on the far right are farm raised. We just received a fresh batch from Alternia the other day."

You nod slowly, still processing the odd sight of this case filled with little tube-creatures gurgling and crawling around aimlessly. You’d seen a couple of these in the porn vids you downloaded, but looking at them up close is different story. _Wait, 'farm raised'? There are seriously... dildo farmers on their planet?_

"Would you like to hold one?" she offers, leaning forward and resting her elbows on the glass, which also gives you a killer view of her boobs thanks to that low-cut top,"You will have to wear gloves so it does not imprint and bond with you but..."

"Oh, um, no that's cool. Thanks though." You smile nervously and rub your elbow with one hand. Trying to pretend like you weren't just staring at her, you glance over at the contents of the last section in the case. It looks like another pile of nookworms at first, except they aren't moving and they somehow seem more bland in appearance. "What're those ones?"

"Synthetics," the troll woman reaches in and grabs one, plopping it onto the counter in front of you, "They are 3D printed from a silicate-graphene bioweave, making them easier to clean and requiring no upkeep. They will also move once activated. Personally, I still tend to prefer the feel of the genuine article, as do most."

You reach out and warily poke the faux-nookworm, its jellylike surface indenting under your touch. It jiggles briefly before going back to looking completely underwhelming.

"Hmmm," you knit your brow and stroke your chin in contemplation.

"Nookworms are fine for humans, although not a conventional choice. Are you shopping for yourself, or perhaps a partner?" she ventures.

"Uhhh, both. I guess?"

And now she's the one narrowing her eyes, sizing you up for real this time. You ignore the sinking feeling in your stomach, since you didn't come all the way here just to wuss out. Thinking of Aradia, you put on your best poker face.

"Listen," you say as you rest your arms on the glass, mirroring her pose, "This stuff is pretty cool and all. But it ain't exactly wowing me. You got anything else? Y’know, in the back maybe?"

Her scrutiny seems to ramp up for a moment, but then her expression softens and a sly smile spreads across her lips, her fangs poking out. You swear you see a twinkle in her eyes.

"Mmmm. Yes, I can tell you are an individual of... discerning tastes. I think I have something that will suit you very well." She reaches up and taps your nose, dissolving the rest of the tension before turning and reaching below the counter to undo the lock on a cabinet.

Soon, she extracts a small, black metal case that's slightly shorter than your forearm. One side of it is laser-engraved with a serial number and some other stuff you can't make out.

"This is the newest model from Maas-Neotek. Synthetic-organic hybrid, designed specifically for humans." She flips the clasps on the case and lifts the lid slowly, turning it ceremoniously to face you.

"Holy shit," you gasp, staring reverently, "Is that...?"

She nods, clearly taking satisfaction in the awestruck look on your face.

"Omg," you whisper, "I need it."

* * *

Once she finishes explaining the proper usage and you’ve sealed the deal on that purchase, the nice shopkeeper lady leans in closely to whisper something when she hands you the bag.

“You know,” she says playfully, her breath hot on your ear, “I can help you test it out, if you would like.”

You flush a deep red, all the way from your cheeks to your collarbones. Tempting as it may be, you hurry to excuse yourself between awkward stammerings, thanking her for the help.

"I will be here if you change your mind," she calls, blowing you a kiss and winking as you scoot out of the shop.

Navigating back to the main corridor, you wonder if it wouldn’t be a such bad idea to have a trial run, but you force yourself to focus on making it back to the room before you end up doing somebo—something you might regret.

You make one last stop to grab some food from your favorite noodle place, and then you’re weaving through the crowded corridor back to the hotel room. Everybody out of the god damn way. You got a bag full of clothes, a box full of food, and heart full of affection.

You’re excited to show Aradia all the stuff you scored, and you tap your foot impatiently as you ride the lift up to your floor. Employing your sweetest ninja-moves, you juggle your armload of goodies and successfully open the door without dropping anything. You tiptoe in and silently set the bags down like a sassy space Santa on Grubmas Eve or whatever convoluted name it has on Alternia. The room is still dark, and you don't hear anything, so you assume Aradia has yet to return to the realm of the living.

You snicker to yourself, envisioning a brilliant plan of attack where you slip into bed to deliver some of the sappiest wakeup smooches ever. Distracted by your own thoughts of ambushing the cute babe, it takes you a moment to process that the bed is actually empty once you get closer.

Before you can reach for the panel on the wall to hit the lights, you feel a set of arms wrap around your waist and a very, very warm body press up against your back. You yelp in surprise, tensing up briefly until dark wavy hair spills over your shoulder and a familiar set of lips plants a kiss on your cheek. Damn, looks like your master plan backfired and it was the cute babe who ambushed you instead.

"Why hello there," you say, relaxing into her embrace and resting your arms atop hers, "Miss me much?"

"Mmhmmm" she purrs, leaning into you more and giving you a little squeeze.

"I’m guessing you had a nice lil snooze then, huh?"

"I did," Aradia says, nodding and lightly swaying her hips, "It doesn't take very long for the psi to regenerate."

Reacting unconsciously to her touch, your hands drift down and reach back to caress her hips, and you notice…

"Babe," you pause to blink, giving her thighs a squeeze, "Are you naked?"

"Yes? That jumpsuit was too scratchy."

"Oh, well in that case I stopped and go—"

You fail to finish your sentence because she spins you around, pushes you up against the wall, like dang, she really did get her strength back quickly. You can still barely see anything in the dark, but you feel her heat as she leans in to kiss you firmly, almost hungrily. She slips a knee between your legs, applying a bit of pressure while simultaneously reaching up under your tank top to start kneading at your chest. You're loving all of this sudden attention, and even though it isn't too far from where you were planning on taking things when you got back, you're getting a weird feeling.

"Hey um," you manage to focus enough to sputter as she starts working her way down, kissing your neck and making it hard for you to think of anything else except how hot it is that Aradia's finally getting to take the initiative for once, "Could we maybe slow it down for a sec?"

You wonder whether spontaneously getting super horny is somehow tied in with a troll's psi reserves, or if she's just really glad you're back. Maybe a bit of both?

"Why, what's wrong?" she asks, pausing in the midst of sliding one of the straps of your tanktop down your arm.

"Nothing! Maybe... I uh," you falter as you try to find the right words. "I sorta got us some food from that place I mentioned. Thought we could like, chill for a bit and enjoy that together? Maybe have some quality gal-time that doesn't involve helm fluids or shoving cables into you."

"You can shove other things into me too," Aradia quips in an excessively lurid tone.

You snort, trying to hold back a laugh which bursts free anyway and you find her cheek so you can pinch it and groan at her: "Oh my godddd, you're the worst. Way to make this easy for me."

It's easy to tell that she's grinning at you now, you can feel it in her cheek muscles before you let go.

"Food sounds nice though. I did wake up feeling a little hungry..."

You relax, resting your hands on her shoulders to gently push her away so you can hit that lightswitch.

"Hungry for you!" she growls all of a sudden, grabbing your sides and tickling you mercilessly.

You try to duck away but fail miserably, shrieking and dissolving into a laughing fit that she soon joins in on once you find an opening and manage to tickle her back.

* * *

A short while later, the two of you are splayed out on the bed and leaning against each other comfortably. You'd made quick work of the noodles, which were still as good as you remember, and Aradia really wasn't joking about being hungry because homegirl straight-up devoured hers. Afterwards, you busted open the bags to show off some of your spoils. You'd gotten her a black dress and a simple burgundy button-up shirt to go with it, doing your best to take a guess at her style despite never having seen her wear much of anything at all.

Aradia's still holding up the shirt, staring at it in admiration.

"That’s just to start. I figured we could go out together later and look for some other stuff you might like.”

You turn to look at her, gaze still fixed on the shirt.

"Yo? Bridge to Aradia, come in." You reach over and lightly poke her cheek.

"This.... is the best thing ever. It's so _soft_!" she exclaims.

"Yeah I think it's like some sorta new microfiber blend? Defs comfy-ass stuff alright."

"I can't wear this, Roxy. It feels like a crime."

"Girl. I hate to break it to you, but you can't go strutting around out there in your wriggling-day suit. Not everyone is as chill about that as yours truly," you say, gesturing to yourself and your now mostly-unclothed state. You'd stripped down to just your panties, relishing the chance to kick back and not give a fuck about uniform or looking remotely presentable for once. Despite her occupational bias, Aradia had a point: feels way more comfortable just to let it all hang out.

"I knoooow that. I just… NNNGHGHH" she groans, clutching the shirt protectively and rubbing her face against it to enjoy the texture. After she's had her fill, she peers up at you from behind the garment and adds quietly: "Thank you."

"No prob!" you lean over to give her a quick peck on the cheek.

As you start to sit back up, Aradia loops a hand around the back of your neck and pulls you back toward her, planting a gentle kiss on your lips. You sigh happily, closing your eyes and kissing her back as a small shiver runs up your spine. Wordlessly, you shift closer, resting against her and enjoying the warm feeling of her bare skin on yours. You entwine your legs together, wanting to be as close as you possibly can. You trade kisses of varying intensity, as if they’re a natural extension of your conversation.

==>[[S] Aradia & Roxy: Make it happen.](https://soundcloud.com/kygo/the-xx-angels-kygo-edit)

Aradia lightly brushes her fingertips against one of your nipples, drawing a soft moan from you.  
Compared to earlier, you're glad she's being so considerate, but you cover her hand with yours and press it firmly to your breast, letting her know it’s fine. Both of you open your eyes briefly and smile at each other before she continues caressing your chest, alternating between sides to give them equal attention.

You shift your thighs and you can already feel the slickness building up between your legs. Just from kissing and a little second base? You must be losing your touch, Rox.

Panting heavily through your nose as you continue to make out, you slide your hand across her stomach, feeling her abs tense and enjoying the way she almost bucks into your touch. Your practice has pretty much eliminated the need to check that you've got the right spot, you start circling your fingers around her nookbump, gently massaging the folds and probing the sheath’s opening.

You can feel her bulge starting to emerge, and you spread the wetness on your fingers around, making it easier for you to rub and tease. Soon, her full length rests in your hand and is dripping with fluids, writhing eagerly against your palm. Your clit throbs with desire, making you aware of how badly you need to get fucked right now. Just as you break away to say something, Aradia silences you by reversing your positions. Now she's the one on top, pausing to grin at you before she leans in for another kiss.

Aradia makes herself comfortable atop you, and the sudden pressure of her pelvis against yours makes you gasp. She rolls her hips lightly, grinding against you through your underwear which are now so hopelessly soaked, seriously why do you even have these things on still. Her bulge slips under the edge of the garment, reacting to your warmth and brushing against your outer lips.

"Fuck," you exhale in frustration, your voice hoarse, "Come on! No teasing!"

"Oh Roxy," she says playfully, giving your ear a soft bite, "Let me have a little fun. This will be the first time I haven't had to lie around uselessly while we pail."

"Yeah but..."

"Besides," Aradia cuts you off, planting a series of kisses along your neck and continuing down to your breasts, pausing at each nipple before moving on, "There's something new I would like to try."

She scoots back a little and you soon have your answer about what she’s planning as she kisses along the waistline of your panties, reaching up to slowly pull them down. Automatically, you raise your hips so she can slide them off and toss them aside. Your heart is pounding in your chest like a jackhammer as you try to try to come to terms with the fact that she's about to go down on you. Wait, how does she even…

"How do you even know about this?" you ask, only to do a mental facepalm a second later as she looks up at you from between your legs, cocking an eyebrow at you.

"You're not the only one who can watch videos on the web," she says, reaching behind her neck to push her mane of hair off to the side, emphatically tapping the neural access port as she does.

You blush harder, if that's even possible, and try not to completely melt from the realization that Aradia probably spent hours studying how to eat girls out just so she could make you happy in return. Her breath tickles as she leans closer to your crotch and you give her a small nod, tilting your head back and closing your eyes. You run your fingers through her hair and guide her closer. Aradia plants a small kiss right on your clit, then extends her tongue and smooths the flat of it along the outside of your cunt.

Seeming to enjoy your taste, she continues to lick at you, running the tip of her tongue up through your folds. You shudder, feeling the beginnings of an orgasm building. Nobody's ever done this for you before, but holy shit does it feel good and you want more. Hoping that you aren't committing some terrible faux-pas, you carefully rest your hands atop her horns and grip them near the base, using them to pull her closer and let her know to keep going.

Taking the cue, Aradia wraps her hands around your thighs and presses her mouth against you more firmly, tongue darting here and there in different patterns, teasing and sweeping across your clit. Your mind goes completely blank, unable to focus on anything except the sensation of her tongue and the first-class treatment she's giving your pussy.

Your legs begin to shake and you arch your back, panting and moaning until finally she gets you there and you're cumming, surprisingly hard. You let go of her horns and clutch at the sheets, balling them up in your fists as the waves of orgasm pass through you. It's nothing like when you're having sex, but still feels fucking incredible.

"O. m. f. g," you huff. "That was like... I don't even know ok, but you're frickin awesome. If you decide you wanna do that again, you don’t even hafta ask next time."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," she says, slowly licking her lips before wiping them with the back of her hand, "You've had me at somewhat of a disadvantage up until now. "

"Are you _sure_ you haven't done that before?"

She shakes her head, hair falling back across her shoulders and spilling over her chest as she gives you a small, sincere smile.

"C'mere," you say, reaching up to pull her into a hug, squeezing her tightly and nuzzling her neck. She giggles, slipping her hand into yours and weaving your fingers together. By now, she knows that you need a minute to recover, the uncertainty of your first time is a thing of the past. You can still feel her bulge against your thigh, waving lazily and tracing along the crux of your hip. Which reminds you…

"Shit!" you blurt, suddenly remembering the forgotten article buried among the bags across the room, "I've got something new to try too! Hang on."

You disentangle yourself and she looks up at you curiously as you climb out of bed, knees only wobbling briefly as you retrieve the sleek black box from the pile. Hopping back onto the bed, you sit cross-legged and place it on the sheets before you. Aradia scoots forward and sits across from you, legs folded beneath her, watching intently as you undo the clasps and open it.

Inside, nestled in a recess that matches its shape perfectly, is a translucent pink shaft that’s ribbed and textured similarly to the critters you saw in the shop earlier. Flared at the base, it gets narrower and eventually tapers to a tip at the other end—exactly like a troll's bulge. It’s roughly the same size as Aradia’s, but slightly thicker. You lift it up and hold it in both palms, enjoying the weighty heft of it.

"Is that some kind of… fake nookworm?" Aradia asks while scratching absently at her cheek, puzzled by the shape and size.

"Not quite! It's waaaay cooler than that," you say smugly, "Check this out."

You stand up and maneuver the base of it between your legs, pressing it to your crotch. Hoping you're not about to embarrass yourself completely, you tap one finger against the side of it rhythmically like the shopkeeper showed you—the activation code. As soon as you finish, the bioprosthetic springs to life, the spongy membrane on the base connecting with your skin and adhering firmly. There's a small raised cluster that you can feel pressing into your clit, which tingles for a few seconds, and you let go once the entire thing heats up to match your body temperature. The surface also self-lubricates, taking on a subtle sheen once the appendage begins to slowly curl and sway from side to side.

"Woah," Aradia says, making the same exact face you did when you saw this thing in the shop, "Is that...?"

"Yep!" you say proudly, resting your hands on your hips and giving them a little shake, "Synthetic bulge! It’s not perfect replica of the real deal, but from what I've read it comes pretty damn close. It’s got all kinds of artificial nerve-endings built in, so I can feel stuff with it too."

Aradia raises both hands and presses them against her cheeks, watching the bulge dance enticingly as you sit back down on the bed.

"I felt kind of bad that I couldn't ever really give you what you needed thanks to my lame single-function anatomy. So I did some research and found out about these."

“Can I... can I touch it?” she says eagerly, one of her hands hanging in the air between you.

“Um, of course? Knock yourself out.”

She reaches over and wraps her hand around the bulge, giving it a tentative stroke as she does. You can feel all of that as though it were a natural extension of your skin, and your eyebrows inch a little higher as you adjust to this new feedback. You also feel a faint twinge of pleasure as she touches you, kind of like when you’re playing with your clit.

"Roxy," she says in a grave tone, suddenly withdrawing her hand and giving you an intense look.

"Yeah?"

"I take back what I said about the shirt before. _That_ is the best thing ever!" she declares, extending her arm and pointing at the new toy, which is already paying for itself by that reaction alone.

You laugh, partly because of her pretending to be so dramatic, but also out of relief that she didn't recoil in horror when you put it on, or that it didn't end up malfunctioning, flailing madly and launching itself across the room.

"So, do you wanna tr—"

"YES!" she blurts, cutting you off. Aradia flops back on the bed and scoots her head up to the pillows, grabbing a couple so she can prop herself up a little, while flashing you a look that says _how much longer are you going to keep me waiting_?

You hobble forward on your knees and park yourself between her legs, which she spreads invitingly to make it easy for you to reach her nook. Since you don't really have the muscle memory for this kind of biz yet, you opt to keep it simple and crawl forward so you can line up your hips better. Can’t ever go wrong with a little consensual sex in the missionary position. The synthetic bulge slides against her inner thigh, and since it seems intent on doing its most convincing impression of the real thing, you have to reach down between the two of you to help guide it towards Aradia's nook. Her own bulge wraps around your wrist and squeezes rhythmically as you do.

Your bulge slides into her and your clit thrums in response to the sudden tightness. You've obviously got no basis for comparison, but this feels pretty fucking great so far. That feedback loop only seems to give further encouragement to your new appendage, and more of its length inches deeper, her walls stretching to take your bulge as you fill her for the first time. Aradia moans contentedly, savoring the feeling as you bottom out and bury yourself to the base.

"How's that?" you ask, dipping your head down to give her a reassuring kiss.

Aradia seems to be at a loss for words, opting to bite her lip and nod quickly in response. Her hands slide up your back, arms wrapping around to hug you tightly. Her own bulge brushes against your belly, leaving wet trails as it does, seemingly unsure of what to do with itself while sandwiched between the two of you. You start off slow, rocking your hips slightly and enjoying the feel of your synthetic bulge curling and caressing the inside of Aradia's nook. There's a small spot beginning to swell, and you realize you must be hitting her genetic bladder. It probably feels nice to finally have that stimulated the regular way, instead of through an implant hole in her back.

Aradia's breathing grows heavier, and she tries to give you a hasty kiss but gets interrupted by a moan, exhaling sharply against your mouth. God, she's so fucking cute like this it's hard for you to stay focused on what you’re doing. _Hips, bulge, keep moving, do the thing_. You feel her shift beneath you, instinctively moving her pelvis and trying to coax your bulge deeper. Now that you've started to get a feel for the rhythm of this, you start to vary your motions, slipping most of your bulge out of her nook at a relaxed pace then letting it slither back in. It does most of the work on its own, only needing a light nudge from you as a cue.

Those synthetic nerves are really shining right now, because you can sense her getting wetter as you continue, and the way each of the bulge’s little ridges and bumps pluck at her entrance when you thrust back in is beyond enthralling. You've really gotta consider writing a thank-you note to the people who crafted this masterpiece.

You kiss along her jawline and up to her ear, making her squeak when you give it playful lick and nibble, continuing to fuck her earnestly. Your chest fills with pride and you break into a giddy smile, overjoyed that Aradia's liking this change of pace in lovemaking. Dirty talk isn’t normally your thing, but you want to see what else you can do to push her buttons a little as payback for earlier, so you speak breathily into her ear:

"Ya like that, hmm?"

She whimpers softly, running a hand up through your hair and lightly raking her nails across your scalp.

"Feels good getting your nook stuffed with my bulge, doesn't it?" you coo, giving a firm thrust and doing all you can to emphasize that empty-filled-empty pleasure of initial penetration again.

"Y-yes..." she pants, shivering as you keep working her nook, which seems to tighten in response to your words.

"You always get to use me as your personal pail. But now it’s my turn," you intone in a way that’s both sultry and sinister, teasing her with the unspoken meaning.

“Please,” she whines needily, fingers splayed as she clutches at you, choking out her words between gasps, “I want it. I need… you.”

"I’m gonna—nnnh—fill you up with so much cum,” you murmur, pressing as much of your body against her as you can, “your nook’ll ache for days."

"Roxy," Aradia moans loudly, her voice trembling, "I-I'm about to..."

Despite all the sticky wetness that's spread out across your pelvis and hers, you notice the first warm trickle of her genetic material as her bulge twitches with anticipation. This, combined with your own talk about pails brings your mind to a grinding halt. You immediately freeze in place, eyes snapping open at the realization.

"Oh crap," you mutter, suddenly aware of your surroundings. The two of you are not fucking in the helm right now, and the thought of trying to wipe massive splatterings of troll-jizz off the walls and furniture in this hotel room is not a pleasant one. You don’t even want to imagine what the cleaning bill for that shit would be, let alone how you’d even explain it to the staff.

"What?" Aradia asks, looking incredibly disappointed that you stopped and not really registering why. You reach down and give her bulge a tap, wiping some of its tinted fluid onto your fingers and holding them up for her. Her eyes widen and she claps a hand over her mouth once she catches the drift. "Ohhhh. Yes, I guess we should try not to make a mess."

Craning your neck, you turn to look back over your shoulder at the dresser across from the bed. You narrow your eyes at the small ice-bucket sitting there. Aradia leans over to look past you and follow your gaze. Seconds pass, then you both turn to each other and frown uncomfortably.

"Let's..."  
"...not use that one," she finishes for you.

"I guess we could move to the bathroom?” you sigh, not really thrilled about the idea of parting and ruining the mood with further interruption. “Less collateral damage there."

"Or, how about this," she says with a proud grin, sliding a hand down between you to grasp her bulge, weaving it past yours, and pressing the tip up against your pussy, "You could 'take one for the team' as they say."

You laugh despite yourself, wondering how you neglected such a fine application of Occam's Razor. Or Occam's alien junk, in this case.

Aradia shoots you a confused look, "That was the phrase, right? I didn't cull it did I?"

"Nope, you’re good. Well done." You steady yourself and try to shift a little for a better angle once you feel Aradia's bulge rub up against your folds, "You're carrying me to the bathroom after this though."

"I think that can be arranged," she says, closing her eyes again and exhaling deeply as her bulge pushes itself inside you. It takes you a moment to adjust to the combined sensation of her filling you up, while the synthetic bulge continues sending pleasurable signals back directly to your clit.

Double wow. You're probably not going to last a whole lot longer at this rate either.

Raising her legs, Aradia locks them around the small of your back and pulls you toward her, causing you both to slide deeper into one another. Easing back into the rhythm you had beforehand, the two of you move in unison, relishing the mutual pleasure it brings. You thrust, grind, and tremble, locking lips in a passionate kiss that you wish with all your heart would never end. Minutes slip by unnoticed, your focus so closely trained on body language and all the nuances of touch. You feel so alive being connected to her like this—it’s the polar opposite of the stupors you drank yourself into back on Earth. Part of you whispers words of gratitude to your past self for choosing to leave.

You tense up, feeling your insides contract rapidly as you start to cum, which gives Aradia the last bit of stimulation she needs as well. Her bulge pulses, releasing a hot stream of her slurry to fill you completely and making your walls stretch to accommodate. You've grown to savor and even crave the sensation of soft pressure it brings, along with the heady feeling you get as her genetic material warms you from within. Those high-and-mighty things you said earlier were nothing but talk: truth is you love being Aradia’s pail and seeing the way she looks when she cums inside you. The two of you lay together quietly for a while, catching your breath and sighing in satisfaction. Already feeling the onset of fatigue from the exertion of some quality sex, you lightly butt your forehead against Aradia's, rubbing your noses together in a lazy eskimo-kiss. Looks like you're the one who needs her battery recharged now.

Sitting up and carefully scooting the two of you over to the edge of your bed, Aradia cradles you and hoists you in her arms before it becomes impossible to get up. She takes slow and purposeful steps toward the bathroom while trying not to pull out or let anything leak. She deposits you in the shower, stepping in after and tapping the control panel to start it up.

You alternate bathing and teasing each other under the warm spray of water, rinsing away the all the sweat, stickiness, and laughing a bit at the large quantity of crimson slurry that slips down the drain. Remembering to disengage the synthetic bulge, you tap the code and it detaches with an obscene squelch, flopping lifelessly into your hand so you can give it a good rinse. Thoroughly cleaned, the two of you pause for a slow shower makeout, enjoying the decadence of letting the water stream down your skin as you rest against each other.

Once you've had your fill and dried off, you saunter back to bed holding hands. Climbing under the covers, you snuggle up to Aradia and she rests a hand on your head to stroke your hair, soothing you even more. You mumble sleepily, asking her to tell you a story or something—you just want to listen to the sound of her voice. After taking a minute to ponder, she starts reciting an old folktale, and you're not entirely sure whether she's telling it in English or Alternian. It doesn't really matter, because your consciousness quickly melts away and you fall fast asleep in her arms.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's worth mentioning that in this setting, I decided to go with a specific headcanon for psi-active trolls who become helmsmen. Their abilities most commonly manifest as extrasensory perception, which lets them perform [the navigational feats detailed further in this post](https://inklesspen.tumblr.com/post/150903385319/i-thought-i-had-posted-my-helmsmanhyperspace), while the excess can be converted into an energy source for starships that is significantly less volatile than a fusion reactor.
> 
>  
> 
> **tl;dr Psi-active trolls mainly have extrasensory-perception abilities (not really telekinesis), which allow them to navigate subspace once a starship opens a gate to jump through and travel great distances.**


	3. Dreamer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i'm meadows and my hobbies include crying over fictional characters and inflicting water-damage on expensive keyboards...
> 
> **Happy Femslash February, everyone. This is my final gift in honor of the occasion.**  
>  I dedicate this work to Sappho and Bastet. 
> 
> Limitless undying love for my friends across the universe who helped: [Talkinghands](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Talkinghands), [JadeEmpath](http://jade-empath.tumblr.com/), [Aewin](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Aewin), [epyon_avenger](http://archiveofourown.org/users/epyon_avenger), and [twofoldAxiom](http://archiveofourown.org/users/twofoldAxiom).  
>  
> 
> _Easter-egg: I've added [S] music for every chapter. Go back and take a look/listen._

* * *

You park yourself in the chair by the window, staring impassively at Aradia as she continues to sleep. Echoes of that fucked-up dream still lingering, you reach up and rub your temples with both hands. Now is about the time that you could really, really use a drink but... no. You left that reckless girl behind on Earth. Anyone who's ever taken a college psych course and read a bit of Jung can tell you what that dream meant; what kind of message your rowdy subconscious was sending you.

Even though you tried not to focus on it too much, it was clearly the wrong move because the dream was your mind's own way of delivering a swift backhand and making you face the music. You and Aradia are way beyond just being fuckbuddies. The week you've spent together here on Calliope has quickly forced you to confront just how deeply you care about her.

How much you really do love her.

An old, stubborn part of you was hoping something would go wrong—some startling revelation that would huck a wrench into the works to break the spell—and make you realize that it was too good to be true after all. That maybe as soon as you weren't meeting up every few weeks for a covert screw in the helm it would be a different story altogether and you'd see that she wasn't your kind of gal anyway. But nope, absolutely no such luck there. Go figure that the first person you've felt such a strong bond with in a zillion years turns out to be the last person you'd actually have any shot at a future with.

Your contract is up next year and until now you haven't spent much time giving thought to what you'll do next. That's fine for you, because you’ve always got options. Aradia? Not so much.

So now you're sitting here in the middle of the night, silently letting the hours slip by while you wrack your brain for any kind of outcome that doesn't involve her being chained to a starship until she dies again. No amount of mental gymnastics is able to get you past the fact that, when all is said and done, she's still effectively a slave. Helping her is the right thing to do though, you know it deep down because that biz is like second-nature to you. Back home, your friends would always give you grief for spending more time worrying about them and their problems instead of your own—even while you were letting both yourself and your life go to pieces.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, feeling a headache start to come on as you consider just how out of your depth you are here with this type of calculating, strategic bullshit. Maybe... maybe it's time to call up a pro in that arena and get some advice on this one.

After quickly doing the mental math for the timezone difference, you grab your tablet from the nearby desk and key up an encrypted channel.

[[Encryption Mode]]:: SERPENT-AES (256)  
tipsyGnostalgic began pestering timaeusTestified at UTC 20:42

TG: heyyyy hows my favorite cousin slash nerd slash U.N. diplomat extraordinaire doing?  
TT: Surprised, to say the least. Didn't think I'd be hearing from you again.  
TG: omg dirk srsly, r u still salty about me leaving? you know why i had to go.  
TT: Agree to disagree, Roxy. You weren’t forced to do anything. I understand why you thought you had to leave at the time, but still.  
TG: bla bla ok pls skip the usual theatrics. you miss me and i miss u too, you big dork.  
TT: ...  
TT: Did you need something, or did you just feel like shooting the breeze?  
TG: how bout we do both? ur a talented guy and lets be real, getting straight to the point has never been ur style.  
TG: lmao, straight. see wat i did there?  
TT: Hilarious. It seems I'm laughing so hard that in an unprecedented feat of autonomy, my ass has literally detached itself from my body. It's just sitting there on the floor now, kind of jutting out impudently.  
TG: always with the butts, this guy. ily dirk never change.  
TT: Couldn't pay me to. So does my legendary intuition deceive me or is there a particular matter of difficulty that Roxy “mama-cat” Lalonde is actually reaching out and seeking help with for once?  
TG: maybs. depends on whos askin  
TT: Just some ordinary dude who spends his entire day trying to keep everyone down here from killing each other. Such a dude might say he knows a thing or two about problems.  
TG: okay mr ordinary dude... soooo, suppose there was a girl i liked. like rly liked a lot k? but shes in a bad situation and i cant get her out of it on my own.  
TT: Can I get a measure of how bad? Are we talking “Oh no I burnt the toast” bad or “AD 2016” bad?  
TG: like shes sorta maybe got no legal rights as a person? because she's technically Alternian military property?  
TT: Roxy.  
TG: dirk  
TT: Please tell me you aren't fucking a helmsman.  
TG: sorry man, the heart wants what it wants  
TT: Son of a bitch.  
TT: Are you drinking again?  
TG: wow, what? no, dude no! havent touched the shit since i enlisted. scouts honor and all that.  
TT: I’m just wondering if you could have maybe picked someone with fewer complex political, legal, and cultural entanglements? Maybe a highblood instead? Or, you know, someone with any basic rights at all?  
TG: that bad huh?  
TT: Rox, the Alternians have been around for several millennia longer than we have and they're still treating sentient individuals as property. Look at how many centuries it took before we finally managed to implement the Universal Human Rights Treaty.  
TT: In comparison, do you seriously think things like abolishing the hemospectrum or legalizing interspecies marriage are high up on their to-do list?  
TG: i know... i know! shit. but what about their diamonds thing? the moirails. don't they take that super mega srsly over there? like its the ace in the hole of all aces in every hole?  
TT: Sure they do. In Alternian law, which doesn't cover humans at all. You'd both get executed for heresy before the trial even went to court.  
TG: ok so screw alternia then. why not earth? cant they give her asylum or some sorta immunity deal?  
TT: They might. After they finish convicting you for treason because you single-handedly decommissioned a UEF flagship. Helmsmen are not easy to replace so long as the Condesce is holding the purse-strings.  
TG: bluh bluh huge bitch  
TT: Look, I don't want to sound like I'm trying to kill your dreams, Roxy. Believe me, I'm glad you seem to be doing well and that you’ve found someone important enough to you that you're batshit crazy enough to go against the odds so you can be together. But there's not really an easy fix here. We're talking nothing short of a statistically improbable miracle.  
TG: yea, i guess ur right.  
TT: But it means a lot that you actually came to me and asked for help. I'm proud of you.  
TG: thx dirk. im proud of me too lol  
TT: And for that alone, I think it's worth seeing what I can do on my end.  
TT: I'll call in a couple favors, twist some arms, and find out if there aren't any legal loopholes we can exploit with some sicknasty maneuvers.  
TG: !!!  
TG: omg dirk i...  
TG: wow  
TG: thank you.  
TT: Don't mention it.  
TT: Like, seriously don't. Keep this shit as far on the down-low as possible. The shit needs to be down so low that it hasn't seen the light of day for years. I can't help you at all if you fuck up and get caught.  
TG: pshhhh nbd, i got this. ur talkin to an intergalactic woman of mystery after all. im out here serving up a strict diet of the sweetest espionages around.  
TT: Incredible. How sweet would you say these espionages are?  
TG: id say theyre sweet enough to make the baroness of a certain-baked goods empire rethink her life choices and maybe find a new calling because hot damn she just CANNOT compete with the product im delivering.  
TT: Fuck. Yes.  
TT: Ok it's been real, but I've got another appointment to run to. I'll be in touch soon.  
TT: Take care Roxy.  
TG: u too <3

timaeusTestified ceased pestering tipsyGnostalgic.

With a low sigh of exhaustion, you power down the tablet and slip it into your bag. A small smile crosses your lips and you're grateful to know that you hadn't completely alienated one of your closest friends on Earth after all. You rise from the chair and stretch, feeling things click and pop that really shouldn't be doing that at your age. Definitely time to find a new line of work that’s less taxing on the bod.

Reflexively, your gaze shifts to the time readout on the wallscreen—telling you that the majority of the night has already come and gone. Well, at least what passes for night around here anyway since there isn’t much of a diurnal cycle thing going on in space and those fancy spectrum lights only do so much. You scratch at your waist to banish an itch, lazily shuffling over to the table to get a drink of water. In your fumbling, you bump the glasses into each other and they clink loudly.

There's a frenetic rustling from behind and you turn to see Aradia sitting bolt upright in bed, looking around in confusion and squinting blearily, hair an utter mess.

"Mnnnhhg... Roxy?" she mutters groggily.

"Sorry. Just grabbin' a quick drink." You lift a hand apologetically as you gulp down the rest.

Aradia blinks at you a couple of times, then holds her arms out and beckons you back to bed with a wave of her hands. You grin and slide under the sheets, easing into her embrace as you both lay down. You can feel her relax instantly at your touch and you nestle further into the crook of her arm, rubbing your cheek against her shoulder, drawing a contented sigh from her. To your relief, it's not long before sleep claims the two of you once more.

* * *

You spend the next week and a half doing anything and everything you hadn't already crossed off your list since you got here. Plenty of walks through the lush greenery of the gardens, hours of dumb VR games at the arcades, more shopping, and a night of hamming it up at a casino because _just once_ you wanted to pretend you were a high-roller with a pretty lady on your arm. You got on a wild winning streak which eventually ended and you lost most of what you'd made that night, but the two of you had more fun being dressed to kill and doing everything you could to screw with the heads of the more serious gamblers there, so it was worth it. You take what's left of your winnings and head up the central pillar, renting out the glass dome on the end for an hour. It's outside of the spin gravity, so you get to lounge there together, floating weightless amidst a field of stars.

New orders for the ship do come through eventually and the captain is gracious enough to give everyone 24-hours' notice before you're underway again (which was really just so most of the crew could sober up and finish nursing their collective hangover). You're back at your post, Aradia's back in the helm, and Calliope Station becomes smaller as it slowly disappears behind you.

After making a couple carefully-timed subspace gate jumps that bring you to a neighboring solar-system, you spend the next day parked in low orbit on the dark side of a moon belonging to a deep blue ice-planet. It's too long of a stop for a typical piss-break on your usual patrols, so you ping Aradia to see if she has the scoop. You get a kick out of the way she manages to creatively sidestep the system restrictions on her responses to status queries:

==========UEF SYSLINK v8.75.4===========

> @RLalonde: Any idea what we're doing here yet?  
> HELM.612: Interior visibility is poor. Captain's latest log entries are marked classified.  
> @RLalonde: Cute. Can you do a general audit for anything unusual?  
> HELM.612: Solenoid units 5-7 in the artificial gravity system were replaced before expiration, but within acceptable failure tolerance. A blockage in the waste recirculation line on deck two was reported and cleared. Main hangar doors were cycled ten minutes ago, coded as standard operations test.

  
That last one gives you pause. It isn't too strange to run checks on essential gear like that but… 

> @RLalonde: Timestamp on the last hangar door test before that?  
> HELM.612: 2251-04-13, UTC 18:20  
> @RLalonde: So a little bit after we left the station?  
> HELM.612: Yes. Also off-schedule, same code.

While walking the length of the service access tunnel you're in, something in the back of your mind that hasn't been sitting right for a while now begins to congeal into a more tangible source of anxiety, magnified by the new knowledge of this shenanigans with the hangar. You go down the list of possible drills they might be doing and none of those seem to really sync up with that timing in any way. The ship is a light carrier with room for no more than 10 unmanned fighter drones or maybe a couple troopships if you got hella Tetris-y with that shit. You check the equipment manifest, but don’t see any major changes after you’d undocked. Flicking back a screen, you shoot Aradia another query on a whim:

> @RLalonde: Elapsed time on the last two hangar door cycles?  
> HELM.612: 3m14s and 3m06s respectively.  
> @RLalonde: Average time of all prior tests with the same code?  
> HELM.612: 1m02s rounded.  
> @RLalonde: Did anything come in or go out?  
> HELM.612: Nothing recorded.

You start to wonder what in the hell they're doing that has a simple door-check taking three times as long as it normally should. Sadly, you aren't kept waiting much longer for an answer.

A red bar flashes at the top of your terminal's screen with a block-text transmission code, indicating a wideband emergency broadcast—the kind you use when you want anyone and everyone around to hear you. The channel opens automatically, flickering for a moment as the video starts to come through, same as it’s doing right now on every other monitor and device on the ship capable of receiving it.

"Attention bulgelickers of the UEF Cascade," a female voice declares, barely-masked hostility bleeding through, "This is fleet-commander Vriska Serket of the First Alternian Free Navy."

The surly-looking, wild-haired troll with an eyepatch leans back in her captain's chair, absently fidgeting with a set of dice in her right hand, metallic fingers of an early-model bioprosthetic on the left drumming impatiently against the armrest. Her left side is clearly not her good side, although you get the sense that a good side is not actually something this woman has at all. She stares into the camera, glowering with a look you recognize as the kind that comes from hours of careful practice and refinement in front of a mirror. You’ve had plenty of run-ins with narcissists before.

"I'm here to notify you that henceforth, thusly, and in such a fashion observing all proper decorum that YOU ARE SO FUCKING **FUCKED**!" Her voice rises to a snarl, her hand snaps shut around the dice, and her composed expression quickly shifts to a feral look of rage—bared teeth and all. She continues to rant henceforth, thusly:

"I'm impressed by your creativity, sending your people on a spacewalk suicide mission to try and kill me. Getting close enough to strap explosives to my ships while wearing nothing but vac-suits takes some serious globes, I'll give you that. Still haven't worked out how they snuck up on us, but we found your little team right after the first explosion—bad break with a faulty detonator I guess. We’ve pulled the rest of them on board now. Thanks to my luck, I’m still alive and I HAD TO WATCH MY FAVORITE SHIP GET BLOWN TO BITS AND THEN SCRAPE ITS ENTRAILS OFF OF MY ARMADA. So, seriously? FUUUUCK. YOUUUUUUUU."

She's practically screeching now, spittle flies from her mouth as she hammers her metal fist against the chair until the armrest is bent.

"Anyway! Hostages. These pink little turds are going to be our guests of honor," she waves a hand dismissively and the video feed clips over to a row of seven humans leaning against a wall, bound and gagged while a couple of trolls stand guard, prodding them with the tips of their rifles. Your eyes go wide as you recognize their faces—the group that marched up when you docked at Calliope.

It cuts back to Vriska as she leans over to point and bark at someone off-screen, "Kill them all as soon as the show's over. Actually no, save that one there. I'm going to fuck that one, then I'll kill it."

She turns her attention back to the camera, "I'm extending this incredible courtesy to them for their bravery in the line of duty. You, on the other hand, have the distinct pleasure experiencing what it’s like as my beautiful armada dismantles that old shitbucket of a ship you're floating around in. I'd commandeer it to replace the one you just wrecked but... shitbucket.”

She holds her palms up, shrugging and flashing a lopsided grin.

“Besides! It's much more important that I send a message here. I want you to tell that _cowardly sea-bitch_ if she wants to fuck with Vriska Serket, that next time she’d better have the decency to face me herself instead of sending her inept Earth lackeys to do it for her. Enjoy the fireworks, assholes!"

The feed cuts to black and ends. You feel all the color drain from your face as the final pieces fall into place. 

Those new crew members weren’t just swabbies, they were black-ops. 

Sent to assassinate the most notorious and deadly pirate in the galaxy. 

Using your ship as cover and a staging platform for their mission. 

A mission which they'd failed.

You steady your hand and feebly tap your terminal again, accessing the ship's 3D tactical map. Seven dots with callouts and drive-signatures indicate the destroyer class ships that gated in next to you right before that sociopath started broadcasting her speech. You zoom in on the illicit military-grade array of disruptor beacons they’ve deployed, which are now spamming garbage electromagnetic chatter on every frequency, making it impossible for the ship’s navigation vanes to open a subspace gate so you can GTFO. Even if you flipped the ship right now and burned as hard as possible in the other direction, a carrier this size could never outrun that many destroyers. 

She was right, you're so fucking fucked.

As soon as the first red dots of live artillery start to arc out from the row of enemy ships, vectoring towards the dot representing the Cascade, you're already making a run for the other end of the ship. The klaxons are blaring for all-hands to battlestations—a painfully futile gesture, you think. You run faster and faster, willing yourself to tune out the muted pops as the first volley hits the shields. Before long, you're in the corridor to the helm, fighting the sickening feeling of deja vu that comes as the varying fragments of your dream align with reality. You key in the access code to the helm on your terminal while you run, the door sliding open just as you reach it and you come barreling into the room, skidding to a halt at the edge of Aradia's tank. She looks up at you, worried, but not in any more distress beyond that.

"Hello, Chief Roxy," she says calmly, reading the panic and fear in your expression and giving you her best reassuring look in return.

You sink to the floor and lean up against the side of the tank to rest, panting heavily after your mad dash. Though your hands tremble violently, you manage to make them retrieve your terminal and connect it to the helm system for direct readouts. Just here to do your job, right? You're the helmstech and this is where you're needed most.

"Hey again, it's me. Got some bad news, fresh off the grapevine. Looks like we're gonna learn all about the wonders of becoming orbital dust." You laugh nervously, already amped on those good old fight-or-flight endorphins. You drop your terminal into your lap because you can’t bring yourself to stare at the readouts that you already know have nothing good to say—or at least they will shortly. "So how's about we um... scoot our butts out of this frying-pan before it gets too hot?"

You hear a few wet plops as Aradia shifts behind you, rising halfway out of her tank to lean over the side and drape her arms around your neck, resting her head against yours as she does. Bits of the pearlescent goo drip down the front of your suit, along with several of your own tears. You reach up to clutch at her arms desperately, trying not to cry harder.

"Appealing as that might be to my sense of adventure," she says quietly, "the system-overrides are hard coded with contingencies to prevent desertion. Courtesy of the Alternian military."

"Heh. Right,” you huff, “You trollfolk really love to go down swinging, don't ya?"

The shields are starting to fail now, the sounds of missiles detonating and railgun fire piercing the hull more frequently as they slip past. More tears turn your vision into a wet blur and you smack a fist down against your thigh, striking it repeatedly in frustration, mentally kicking yourself for missing the setup for all this and ignoring your instincts. You wish that you’d been able to do more. For her sake, at least.

Aradia shushes you while lifting a hand to wipe some of the tears from your cheek, “Don't blame yourself, Roxy. If anyone could have noticed what was happening, it should have been me."

Your voice drops to an apathetic murmur, "That's crap and you know it. They had all this stuff restricted and blacked out. Our ship was just a pawn in whatever dumbass game they’re playing."

Falling silent, you choose not to waste any more energy talking about it. Whatever is going to happen will happen, so you just lean back into Aradia's embrace, focusing as much of your attention as you can on the feeling of her stroking your hair. The minutes tick by and...

"Roxy." Her hands stop moving, a note of uncertainty in her voice.

"Mm?" you hum, wishing she hadn't stopped.

"The captain is requesting a direct line to you."

"Oh." You open your eyes and look down, following the finger she’s pointing at the internal comm notification flashing on your terminal. _Probably wants a status report._

You give the screen a halfhearted tap and try to sound as crisp as you can muster, "Lalonde here."

"Lalonde," the captain's voice is calm, but nearly drowned out by all the shouting and noise on the bridge, "Are you still in the helm?"

"Yes sir. All systems are holding steady, but not for much longer."

"That isn’t why I contacted you..." The captain breaks away for a moment to holler more orders at people.

"Sir?" you ask quizzically.

"You've figured out what landed us in this mess, I'm assuming?"

"Bits and pieces, but enough to get the picture. We provided escort for black-ops, their mission went south, and the pirates found us."

"That's about the size of it. I know it's not an excuse, but my hands were tied and the orders came from up high. Way up. I only knew a little more than what you do now."

"Of course," you say dispassionately, not really following where the captain is going with this. Maybe looking for some sort of final confessional? You ain't no holy-roller, that's for sure.

There’s a pause before the captain continues, in the resigned tone of someone who knows they’ve run out of time and options: "Lalonde... If you're uninjured, there’s something I need you to do for me."

"Still in one piece,” you rasp. “Not a whole lot I can do down here besides damage-control, sir. But I'll try."

"Switch us to auxiliary power and route all system controls to the bridge. I’ve already authorized it, so disconnect Megido and escort her to the main hangar ASAP. The access code is 4815162342, shortband channel 44. Get the helmsman to the nearest base—retrieving her and the logs she's stored will ensure this wasn’t a total failure. You’re the one most qualified to keep her alive."

"Um, alright. With all due respect, sir, is this... a request or an order?"

"Consider it an order. One of my last, it would seem. It's been an honor serving with you, Lalonde. Good luck."

The channel goes silent. You crane your neck back to look at Aradia, who raises her eyebrows and shrugs. Orders are orders, you guess.

"Well," you grunt, pushing yourself up from the floor and trying to stand as tall as you can, "I dunno what kind of BS errand this is, but it's probably better than sitting around here waiting to die."

You turn and extend a hand to Aradia, "Care to join me?"

Aradia answers by rising up from the tank and reaching to tug the neural-jack free from the back of her neck, then taking your hand and grinning broadly. The two of you disconnect the rest of her cables relatively quickly and she steps out of the tank, wiping off as much of the goo as she can. You head to the other side of the room and kick a panel marked with bright yellow hazard signage, revealing a cache of basic vac-suits. Grabbing a couple, you toss one to Aradia and start pulling yours on as you walk back over. 

The seals of the helmet click into place with a satisfying hiss, protecting you from hard vacuum in case of a hull-breach. You slap your hand terminal into the mount on the suit’s left forearm before helping Aradia with the rest of her gear, checking the seals and giving her a quick thumbs-up. Then you set out to make the trek across the ship, the suits’ magnetic boots clicking as you walk. It’s not possible to take the most direct route there; many sectors have already been breached and the automatic blast-doors have lowered to keep the ship from bleeding more air.

* * *

You eventually stride into the hangar, which you find completely empty except for a few large cargo containers in the far corner. Maybe the captain wanted you to stand on one of those and ride it out into space like some kind of shitty skateboard, pretending to be debris and hoping the pirates won’t notice? Go thrash some ill grinds on an asteroid while waiting to get rescued? Some plan alright.

“What the _fuck_ ,” you spit, slamming a fist against the doorframe behind you. You can’t really pretend you were expecting to find anything promising here, but you still feel let down.

Aradia glances around then nudges your shoulder lightly. “Try that access code.”

You punch in the code on the channel the captain mentioned, but your finger hovers above the screen just as you’re about to hit ‘send.’ You glance back at the storage containers and you wonder if maybe you should climb onto them first if this is really ends up just being the code for opening the hangar doors. 

Before you can waste more time debating it, Aradia reaches over and pushes your finger onto the screen. Your terminal beeps and suddenly the air in the hangar begins to ripple. The emptiness melts away like patches of ice, revealing the polished black exterior of the sleekest looking vessel you’ve ever seen. It looks the lovechild of a modern corvette-class ship and the old SR-71 Blackbird.

"Holy shit," you whisper, standing awestruck for a moment before walking over to the ship and reaching up to touch the hexagon-etched paneling, "That's thermo-optic camouflage. Highest grade stealth tech ever. I thought it was still stuck in development hell, though."

This is how black-ops managed to ambush Serket. They just waltzed in right under her nose riding this thing. It also explains the mysterious biz with the hangar doors. You guess they must have set it to fly itself back to the Cascade on autopilot in case they didn't make it. It’d be pretty stupid to let something this insanely advanced fall into the hands of a murderous pirate.

Aradia steps over to join you and a nearby panel on the ship slides open, a ladder silently extending from it and gliding to the floor. You exchange glances and then clamber inside, greeted by the soft glow of instrument lights and quiet hum of electronics. On the wall opposite you, a small bronze plaque catches your eye. It bears the UEF insignia and the name of the ship: _Voidwalker_.

“Nice,” you say while popping the seals on your helmet to get free of the bulky thing. You set it down on a bench on your way towards the cockpit, where you jump into one of the seats to scope out the controls. You turn to look at Aradia, who sits down in the pilot seat next to you. “Think you can fly this?”

“We’ll see,” she says before reaching overhead to grab and unspool the neural-jack cable. Those dudes must have had someone with one of the neural implants that the military’s been trying to adapt for humans. “It looks incredibly new. Could have different firmware.”

A loud explosion rocks the ship and almost pitches you out of your seat. You scramble back out of the cockpit and see what you can do to get ready. Everything looks pretty locked down, but you hurriedly stow both of the helmets in a locker to keep them from flying around during launch. 

“How’re we doing up there?” you holler, ignoring the rumbling outside and slapping a nearby control panel that (lucky guess) raises the ladder, shuts the hatch, and cycles the airlock.

“I can’t get the jack in!” Aradia calls out.

“Did you flip it the other way?” You do an emergency sweep of the aft as quickly as possible, surveying the racked small arms and shelved emergency rations the former crew had brought along, as well as trying to memorize the general layout in case you need to navigate it without gravity.

“Yes!” she answers.

“Then do it again!” you shout, trying not to let your frustration show. You really just want to get the hell out of here already. After finishing the checks to your satisfaction, you rush back to the cockpit and she’s still fussing with it.

“Here, just let me d—”

“Ah, got it!” she says triumphantly, the jack clicking into place in the port on her neck. As it does, the dashboard and screens in front of you all flicker to life, a greentext startup sequence rapidly scrolling up the screen.

“Well?” you ask in anticipation, hopping back into the seat and strapping into the harness.

Aradia’s brow furrows in concentration, staring vacantly while she has a mental conversation with the ship. From behind, you hear the distinct resonating hum of several ion thrusters warming up. Aradia holds her palms up out in front of her, then carefully lifts them a few inches. As she does, the ship rises from the hangar floor. You turn and shoot her a look that says _girl, did you just...?_

She smiles back at you, tilting her head to the side. “The firmware isn’t even a version I recognize. It’s clearly proprietary, so I guess I can still interface fully since I’m coded for UEF ships. Watch this.”

Holding her hands straight out in front and next to each other, she slowly spreads them apart and the massive hangar doors in front of you begin to slide open. You clap approvingly at her sweet technomancy, but then frown when something occurs to you.

“Wait! How are we not gonna get shot up the second we leave? Sickest camouflage or not, they’ve gotta notice the hangar opening.”

“They won’t,” she says, switching the display over to the tactical map and zooming in on the Cascade, “The captain’s re-aligned the ship to make it appear as though we mean to retreat. All they see right now is our backside.”

You look up at the ceiling, thinking of the captain standing there on the bridge five decks above, then lift a hand to make a silent salute in respect. “Good one, boss.” 

_Sorry for doubting you._

“Fire up that cloaking system and let’s boogie. Please tell me we can fly while that’s on?”

“I think… Yes. It looks that way,” she says as she peers into the system, checking the specs directly in lieu of a manual, “Only below 50% thrust, though.”

“Fine, good. Half is way better than none. Do the thing,” you say hastily, your grip on the seat tightening as you notice several more attack volleys launch from the pirate ships.

“Roxy, this ship appears to be capable of incredibly high sp—”

“You’re the pilot. I trust you. Just get us out of here NOW.” Your speech is clipped as you reach the limit of your patience.

Aradia nods and raises her arms again, palms up. She flips them downward, pauses to exhale slowly, then snaps both hands shut at the same time, balling them hard into fists and turning her knuckles white. Almost instantaneously, you’re hit with 6g's of pure screaming acceleration, the force of it slamming into your chest like a sack of bricks and crushing you against your seat. 

_Just like being at Six-Flags_ , you think, gritting your teeth and trying not to worry about your innards getting rearranged.

The hangar vanishes and you're out among the stars. Blinking away tears and straining to hold your chin up, you squint at the ship’s rear video feed in one corner of the main screen. A seemingly endless rain of fire streaks toward the Cascade and collides, a bright nova suddenly lighting up the screen in place of the ship. You grab Aradia’s hand and hold it tightly, unable to really deal on your own with the thought of how many good people just died.

Eventually, Aradia dials it back and lets you coast on low thrust and inertia. Even though she’s directly linked to it herself, you keep glancing back at the tactical map, waiting to see if any of the enemy ships start painting you with a targeting or ranging laser. Minutes slip by and it looks like you’re in the clear. If they hadn’t noticed you before, you doubt they will now that you’ve put a half-million kilometers between you and them.

You exhale hard, unaware you were even holding your breath. Fumbling with the harness, you unbuckle and stumble out of the seat. You begin to pace, shaking out your hands and trying to walk off the adrenaline. It’s not cold in here, but you’re shivering something fierce and your legs feel like they might give out under you.

“Haaah. Hooooohhhhh. Wow. Oh fuck fuck fucking fuckity fuckatropolis fucked up FUCK,” you squeak, “That did not just happen.”

“It happened,” Aradia says casually, turning to look over her shoulder at you, “Also I think I really like this ship. It purrs, Roxy.”

Ignoring her commentary, you reach up and hold your head in your hands. You’re alive. You just cheated the shit out of Death and walked away unscathed. This was it, your _statistically improbable miracle_. Dirk’s gonna flip his whole entire shit when you explain this to him, especially since whatever he was planning couldn’t possibly have been anywhere near as insane. You laugh to yourself, dryly.

_“...xy.”_

_“Roxy?”_

Aradia’s voice snaps you out of it and you look up at her, arms dropping back to your sides.

“The nearest UEF base is four days away from where we are. Should I set a course?”

“No,” you say flatly.

“But the orders w—”

“Fuck what the orders were!” you cut her off in exasperation. You march back over to her chair in the cockpit, spin it around so she’s facing you, and plant your hands firmly on either side. You’re probably wearing a crazed look on your face right now, but you don’t care.

“Aradia. Listen to me. This loyalty you’ve got? For the two institutions that have treated you like shit and kept you locked up for the bulk of your lifetime? It’s way impressive and also kinda frightening, but you need to look at the big picture here. Black-ops screwed the pooch, the Cascade is dust, and nobody—not a single person in the entire frickin galaxy has any idea that either you or I are alive right now.”

Reaching up, you poke her sternum to punctuate each word: “You. Are. Free.” 

Aradia slowly lifts a hand to cover her mouth as the realization finally hits home. For a moment, she looks as though a huge weight has been lifted off her, but then…

“Roxy, I can’t,” she says sullenly. “Think of everyone who just died. We should go back and debrief.”

“Okay, fine,” you say, throwing up your hands and taking a step back, “So we get to base and go deliver your logs along with their sweet-ass stealth ship. Then what happens? They grab the schematics for that helm-rig you had and shove you back into the first ship they can build a new one for. I get kicked straight back out here too, after they’ve given me some bullshit medals or whatever. We both end up in the line of fire and never see each other again. Is that really what you want?”

“It... probably wouldn’t be as bad as what you’ve just imagined. Why are you so afraid?” she asks, and that's it for you. Straw count: zero.

“Because I fuckin’ love you, okay!?” you say fiercely, leaning forward and giving her a wide-eyed glare until everything finally catches up with you. “I just… You're…”

_You’re too important to me now._  
  
_I don’t want you to die._  
  
_I’d fall apart again if I lost you._

Your lip trembles and you dissolve into tears, chest heaving with sobs that take the place of the words you’re unable to form. Aradia’s surprise at your outburst quickly fades into a look of concern as she watches you cry. She sets a hand on either side of your face and draws closer, softly pressing her lips to yours. You kiss her back, awkwardly, with tears coating your lips and hers where they meet, but you have to break away to sniffle and choke back a sob. Aradia pulls you down into the seat with her, wrapping her arms around you and holding you as close as she possibly can. You slide your hands up her back, clutching at her shoulders, only shaking a little bit now as you do. That… that did the trick alright.

Leaning against her chest, you rest your head on her shoulder and sigh, sitting there quietly for a few more minutes as you let the tears dry and wait for your composure to return. You try to think of what to say next, but the exhaustion is kicking in at full force right now. Aradia saves you the trouble, though.

“How interesting,” she muses, like she’s just hit upon a fanciful thought.

“Hmm?” You lift your head slightly to look up at her.

“You’re right. As far as anyone else is concerned, we’re technically dead. But we still exist so that makes us... Ghosts, maybe?”

“Pretty much, babe.” You lift a hand to give her an encouraging pat on the cheek, “Just a couple of spooks drifting through the stars now.”

“I think…” she starts, pausing to swallow, “I think I like your idea better after all. Maybe I will dump the logs and falsify the transmission code so it looks like they came from the Cascade instead. That seems fair, doesn’t it?”

“Atta girl,” you say hoarsely, nuzzling her neck.

“And then maybe these ghosts can go see about haunting a certain space pirate?”

“Believe me, I’m down to haunt the shit out of that bitch. But can we do that later? Like, a lot later? After we’ve disappeared to someplace nice where you and I can chill out for a hot minute and not get shot at. Please?”

“Yes,” Aradia whispers, squeezing you gently, “I’d be okay with that.”

 

**THE END.**

 

==>[[S] Credits: roll](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ilj94sK2Js)  
  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a brief epilogue posted very soon.
> 
> [You're welcome](http://www.mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=006793) ;)


	4. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't mean to tease, but a few of you were not satisfied with a simple "happily ever after" for Chapter 3.  
> You brought this upon yourselves, people.
> 
> Thanks again to [Talkinghands](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Talkinghands), [Aewin](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Aewin), and [twofoldAxiom](http://archiveofourown.org/users/twofoldAxiom) for beta reading this on such short notice after I pulled it out of thin air.

[[Encryption Mode]]: SERPENT-AES (256)  
tipsyGnostalgic began pestering timaeusTestified at UTC 04:13

TG: boo  
TT: Roxy?! Holy fuck, what? You’re alive?  
TG: nah im actually a sophisticated ai that’s housed in a wicked cool spaceship now. or maybe a ghost. hard to say rly. is there much of a diff tho?  
TT: Roxy, cut the crap.  
TG: k. guess u heard about the Cascade huh?  
TT: No shit I heard about the motherfucking Cascade.  
TT: Before the ship’s logs were received and reviewed, I was busting my ass trying to convince the U.N. that it wasn’t the Alternians provoking a war.  
TG: lol gj man, fuckin military stiffs are always trigger-happy arent they  
TT: What really happened out there?  
TT: Are you safe?  
TG: yeah im fine, pmuch. got my helmslady friend here w/me too. we're also sitting inside a few billion dollars worth of UEF stealth tech.  
TG: u said to keep a low profile. ain’t nobody gonna stop the sexytimes if they can’t even find my invisible butt.  
TT: Are you out of your goddamn mind? What is wrong with you?  
TT: I didn’t tell you to steal classified military property!  
TG: my dude, you need to slow your roll here. captain gave me the orders and we were straight up about to die, k? it was either this or stay behind and get exploded.  
TT: You’ve been missing for almost a month now.  
TT: Again, what happened?  
TG: had to make a couple of detours. im about to fill u in on the deets ‘cause i still need ur help sorting all this shit out, but only if u can promise me you’ll keep ur cool.  
TG: is that a thing u can do dirk?  
TG: can u be cool about this? for me?  
TT: I swear, you’re going to get me fucking killed someday.  
TT: ...  
TT: Fine. Let’s hear it.

[[Encryption Mode]]: SERPENT-AES (256)  
apocalypseArisen began pestering twinArmageddons at UTC 06:12

AA: Hi Sollux  
TA: 2up aa. long tiime no 2ee  
TA: lol get iit, cuz iim 2tiill bliind a2 a fuckiing 2kyrodent  
TA: you 2tiill flyiing?  
AA: I’m afraid so.  
TA: rofl niice. ii can’t beliieve we alway2 joked that ii’d be the one 2tuck out there iin a helm iin2tead of you. then ii went and tanked my aptiitude te2t liike a fuckiing champiion and you got 2elected.  
TA: you’re loaned out two that earth 2hiip riight? the cannolii or 2omethiing?  
AA: I’m on a different ship right now. The Cascade had an unfortunate run-in with a large amount of artillery.  
TA: wow that 2uck2. you know ii thiink ii heard about that actually. wa2n’t iit 2erket and her band of merry a22hole2?  
AA: Yes, it was her. That’s actually why I contacted you. We’re in a difficult situation and could really use your skills and expertise.  
TA: you came two the riight guy, becau2e my 2kiill2 are 2tiill the 1337e2t one2 iin the galaxy. what’ve you got?  
AA: A salvaged and/or stolen stealth corvette from Earth that doesn’t officially exist because they were trying to use it to kill Serket. We’re in it and need to have it reprogrammed.  
TA: woah. holy fuckiing 2hiit. thii2 ii2 hotter than hot.  
AA: Can you help? This is really important.  
TA: lmao don’t worry, you had me at the “2tolen 2tealth corvette” part.  
AA: Thank you Sollux, it means a lot to me.  
TA: iim 2endiing you 2ome coordiinate2 that’ll take you two where iim po2ted up at. iit2 a 2hiipyard out iin the a2teroiid belt, priivately owned. they've got me wriitiing all theiir 2oftware and runniing iinfo2ec, of cour2e.  
AA: You're at Braahe Station? That's outside of Empire jurisdiction. Are you sure it's safe?  
TA: yea totally. lot2 of heavy gear rolliing through here all the tiime, biig money contract2. your 2hiip 2houldn’t raii2e two many eyebrow2. iif anyone triies two 2niitch, we’ll ju2t take care of them.  
AA: Haha okay. Hopefully that won’t be necessary. Here’s the ship’s drive-signature and basic specs so you’ll know what we look like when we arrive.  
TA: damn you weren’t kiiddiing, thii2 ii2 a 2weet-a22 piiece of tech alriight. what are you planniing two do wiith thii2 thiing?  
AA: Finish the mission it was built for. Serket’s time has run out, she needs a vacation and I think death would be very good for her.  
TA: fuck. ye2. ii am all about thii2 kiind of actiion. not becau2e 2he'2 the rea2on ii've got no eye2iight and 2pent 2weep2 relearniing how two do all 2ort2 of ba2iic 2hiit or anythiing, but ju2t becau2e that biitch de2erve2 iit.  
TA: get over here and ii’ll liink you up wiith 2ome good people ii know who’d be very iintere2ted iin heariing about your plan2.  
AA: We’re doing this, huh?  
TA: we are makiing thii2 HAPPEN.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This sure has turned into one hell of a mashup. I could actually start writing a continuation right now, the plot is there. I just kind of want to work on other things for a while.
> 
> The Roxy and Aradia that live in my mind just want a break, okay? They deserve one...


End file.
